What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
