Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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