Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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