Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
