I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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