shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize