i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
