a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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