I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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