.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i came on her dog
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
