new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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