I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My vagina is officially offended.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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