So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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