I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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