I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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