Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
