Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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