forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
