you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize