Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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