I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
foreskin is a definite game changer
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Randomize
