It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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