a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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