# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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