it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
