he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
