I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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