I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He better not be in your backpack
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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