We're like a lot better than the average bears
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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