dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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