I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
