I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
