i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
