I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
