I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
