There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
