opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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