Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
