Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
