Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
