yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
