Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
