I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
