don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
