I hate all girls vehemently.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
