forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My hand turned me down
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
