One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize