Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
