We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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