A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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