I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
