I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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