Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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