i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize