i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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