Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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