It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
