It's Friday. Sex?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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