I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
