using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
