no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
