Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
