Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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