look no pants
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
