What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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