It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
