i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
